The Most Important Relationship is with You

Look up “RELATIONSHIP” in the dictionary, wait, do people still do that? Look things up? I do obviously. 

Anyway, it is a two part answer (even the answer has two parts).

In a nutshell, it is how you regard and behave toward something/someone. AND it is the state of being connected.

How do you treat those you are in a relationship with?

My guess, is that depends on how they treat you. It is a two way street (again with the two’s).

We think about significant others when we think about relationships, but in reality you are in a relationship to everything. Like everything.

Every person, animal, experience, EVERY thing.

But by far the most important relationship you will ever have, is the one have with yourself. 

It starts from the moment you took your first breath & it will end the moment you take your last.

How you regard yourself, behave towards yourself, matters. You matter.

You control the relationship you have. And that relationship with yourself sets up every other relationship you have. Every single one.

If you are not having the relationship you want, look at how you are treating you.

Change how you treat you and every relationship you have will also change. It’s a ripple effect.

Now that second part, the one about feeling connected. You, and how you treat you, also affects that. 

How can we feel connected? What are some things we can do?

• be authentic
• respect boundaries 
• go deeper than what you see 
• be genuine
• listen to them, pay attention
• schedule time for them

Think about those examples (and others that are important to you) and turn them towards yourself. 

Especially when living with a chronic illness, these things are important. Some days we may not have enough in the tank to do what we want, and that is ok. That is respecting our boundaries. 

Feeling connected is easier with like minded people who share similar experiences - support groups are a great way to feel connected. And they can help you improve your relationship with yourself. 

When you catch yourself saying or doing mean things towards you, stop and question if you would say or do the same thing to someone in your support group? You deserve the same kindness.